A Friend Needs a Friend
by CheerUpSleepyJean
Summary: An alternate ending for the Teacher's Pet movie! What if, after the song "I'm Moving On," everything went from bad to worse for poor Leonard and Scott? Will they be able to save their friendship—not to mention themselves?
1. Chapter 1

**I am absolutely in love with this fandom, but I found the ending the movie gave the series unsatisfactory, what with Spot giving up his dream of being human. It was touching that Spot would turn back into a dog so that he could stay with Leonard-that both of them considered their relationship more important than their humanity was very sweet, but for him to suddenly stop dressing as a boy and going to school (as "I'm Proud to be a Dog" implies) seemed out of character. Also, it didn't seem fair that Spot should have to relinquish the humanity he's always desired while Leonard didn't have to make any sacrifice; a close friendship relies on compromise, after all! Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to write an alternate ending for one of my favorite movies. I hope all of you Teacher's Pet fans out there enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Teacher's Pet belongs to Disney. If I owned it, you can bet that I would have released the show on DVD by now...Disney, get on the ball!**

**A/N: this is written from Leonard's POV.**

Chapter 1  
Scott had moved on.  
Out of my life.  
_"I command you as your master!" _  
_"FORMER master, Leonard! I'm not your dog anymore!"_  
_"Well, I sure as heck am not your kid! So maybe you'd better just leave me and my mom alone!"_  
_"You...you want me to go? But what about us? You and me...a friend needs a friend?"_  
_"That was a different us."_  
I curled up into an even tighter ball. The pain in Scott's eyes as he returned to me his collar and tags seemed carved into my memory. My own cruel words echoed in my mind:  
_"You're not my dog anymore."_  
From beneath tightly closed eyelids, a tear leaked out onto my cheek. This was all his fault! Why did Scott have to go and change himself into a man? Why did Spot have to want to be a human in the first place? Couldn't he be content with just being my pet?  
I still remembered when I found out who the new "kid" in school really was; the anger I felt toward Scott now was reminiscent of my reaction to my dog running for class office. I could still hear his defiant speech from that day**—**the day the trouble started.  
_"I am staying in school! I am staying in the fourth grade! And what's more, by this time tomorrow, I will be president of our class!"  
_I opened my eyes. Somehow, I just couldn't accept Spot becoming my master in any way, but I expected him to accept my authority. This mess was just as much my fault as it was his.  
And now he was gone.  
I heard Mom preparing to leave, but did my best to ignore it, responding to her comments with an apathetic "whatever."  
"Aww, honey-bunny boombox! I know you miss your dog and your best friend, but we're going home tomorrow, and Spot and Scott'll be there waiting for you! Everything's going to be peachy-pie normal, and just the way it was!"  
She kissed me on the head before heading out to the final NEATO meeting.  
"Right...just the way it was." I mumbled, tracing my finger over the engraving of the dog tags clenched in my fist.  
SPOT HELPERMAN 2072000 DOG LICENSE  
She didn't know how wrong she was.

I must have dozed off, because I woke upon hearing a deafening "POW!" Still groggy, I jolted upright and stumbled to the window of the van. A heavy blanket of smoke billowed in the distance. Franticly, I scanned the RV. Where was my mother? Where was my friend?  
I suddenly felt cold. Before I knew where I was going, my feet had carried me out into the rain, and I was screaming.  
"Mom! Scott!"  
I ran toward the smoke. As I got closer, I could finally see what had happened: the NEATO building had been demolished. All that remained were barbecued bricks and the building's scorched foundations.  
"MOM!"  
"Whoa there, sonny!"  
A policeman grabbed my arm.  
"Let me go! Mom!" I yelled.  
A policewoman solemnly walked up.  
"Sir, the nature of the destruction is...unusual. We've never seen anything like it before."  
"What is it, Smith?"  
"From the marks left behind, I would say that the cause was some sort of...laser blast."  
My breath caught in my throat.  
"Dr. Krank..." I whispered.  
The gazes of the adults snapped to me.  
"You say something, sonny?"  
"He's a wacko scientist! He was mad at the National Excellent American Teacher Organization because it had the same name as his experiment!"  
Two skeptical faces stared down at me.  
"NEATO**—**Dr. Krank's NEATO**—**turned my dog into a man, but we got away, and now he's gone**—**my dog**—**and Dr. Krank's mad, so he probably decided to blow up NEATO**—**this NEATO**—**'cause he's nuts, and...please, you've got to believe me!"  
Their eyes slid from me to each other. A sigh escaped from the lips of the policeman.  
"Smith, this kid's clearly in shock. It sounds like his mom is in the wreck. Can you take him down to the station until we find her?"  
"Yes, sir." She turned to me. "What's your name?"  
"But**—**"  
"Your name, son."  
"...Leonard Helperman." I muttered numbly.  
"Alrighty then. Why don't you come with me?"  
With slumped shoulders, I followed her to the police station.  
"So, Leonard...do you know your daddy's phone number? I could call him so he can pick you up."  
"I don't have a dad."  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her cringe.  
"Oh. Er, sorry."  
We walked in silence after that. Even after we reached the station, she kept quiet, and simply gestured to a plastic chair in the waiting room. I slumped against the chair back, still reeling from the day's events.  
Hours later, the jet black phone on the wall gave a shrill "RING!" The policewoman listened to the speaker for a moment, then turned to me.  
"Leonard, we've found Mrs. Helperman."  
I held my breath. As the policewoman continued to listen on the phone, a smile spread across her face.  
"She's alive."

**A/N: the quotes are from the movie and the first episode, "Muttamorphosis." A special thanks to "Script-O-Rama" for posting the screenplay of the Teacher's Pet movie!**  
**Calling all Teacher's Pet fans! There's a forum for this fandom (not create by me, though I am a member) on Zetaboards (Teachers_Pet_Forum/index/)! It would be lots of fun if more people joined!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: the quotes are from the movie and the first episode, "Muttamorphosis." A special thanks to "Script-O-Rama" for posting the screenplay of the Teacher's Pet movie: **** /movie_ **  
**Calling all Teacher's Pet fans! There's a forum for this fandom (not created by me, though I am a member) on Zetaboards (**** Teachers_Pet_Forum/index/****)! It would be lots of fun if more people joined!**

**Edit: This fic now passes the Bechdel Test, because that's important to me. **

Chapter 2  
"Two to see Mary Lou Helperman."  
"Names?"  
"Rose Darling and Leonard Helperman."  
"Please sign in."  
I snuck a glance at Grandma Rose. Although she looked composed at first glance, her knotted brows and tight lips revealed her concern for her daughter.  
"The patient is in Room 113."  
"Thank you."  
The only sounds in the stark, clean hospital hallway were the hushed whisperings of the doctors and our quiet footsteps. We soon arrived at a door bearing the black painted number 113; I knew that inside lay the broken figure of my mother.  
Mom had survived the attack on NEATO, but just barely. In addition to receiving a concussion, she had also broken both of her legs and her pelvis. After she had been moved to the hospital back home, I-along with Pretty Boy and Mr. Jolly-had gone to Grandma Rose's house. We went to visit Mom at least once a week.  
Grandma Rose gestured for me to stay in the hallway as she checked on Mom.  
"Mary Lou?"  
"Ugh...Ma?"  
"I'm here, honey-pie."  
"Ma! Thank you so much for coming."  
I could hear the smile in Grandma Rose's voice as she replied.  
"It's my pleasure, sweetie. And look who's with me..."  
I rushed into the room.  
"Mom? How you feeling today?"  
Mom's eyes opened; despite her pallor, limp hair, and obvious exhaustion, they still had as much sparkle as ever.  
"Doo-wop dandy, doodlebug."  
I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but failed to keep a small grin from emerging.  
Grandma Rose put a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around, my heart sinking as I took in her serious expression. She nodded to Mom, and led me back into the hallway.  
"Leonard, there's something we need to talk about."  
"What's wrong?"  
Her eyes wouldn't meet mine.  
"Let's face it, Leonard: I'm an old woman. Your mother is going to..." Grandma inhaled. "She's going to be in the hospital for awhile, and I don't think I'm going to be able to look after you all that time."  
My mouth hung wide open, but no words would come.  
"I've been getting calls from a social worker, and she suggested that someone else take custody of you-just until your mother recovers."  
Finally, my mouth caught up with my brain.  
"You're going to send me off with some stranger?!"  
"I'm sorry, honey, but there's nothing we can do! I can't care for you properly, and you don't have any other relatives that will take you."  
"What about...what about Dad's relatives?"  
She sighed.  
"Honey, your father and his family lost custody rights when he walked out on my daughter. There's no other way. I'm sorry."  
She held our her arms; I crossed mine, refusing to let the hurt show.  
"I just want to alone for while. Can I step outside?"  
Grandma Rose nodded sadly before returning to Mom's room. As the door shut with a "click," I turned and ventured sanitized hallways to the outside.  
On the front steps of the East Westland Hospital I sat. Wind swept through the branches of saplings, cars zipped to and fro, a garbage truck stopped at a nearby dumpster...the usual.  
One of the garbage men shouted to his companion.  
"Hurry it up, Shorty! We've got a lot to do today!"  
A reedy voice delivered a response: "Yes, sir!"  
That voice...  
I got up and walked a bit closer, almost in a trance. Now I could clearly see "Shorty:" a small but stocky guy with stubble on his chin and dark, wavy hair sticking out of his cap. He was emptying the last of the odorous trash cans into the truck.  
"Scott?"  
The man spun around, his chocolatey eyes meeting my blue ones.  
"...Bunkie?"  
My heart rose.  
"Scott!"  
He dropped the can and closed the distance between us, putting his hands on my shoulders.  
"I've missed you so much! You and Mrs. H disappeared right after I left! Where have you been?"  
"I'm living with Grandma Rose! But..."  
"So that's why I haven't seen you! I've been making my way back here from Florida for a month, taking odd jobs for money and hitching rides so I could return to East Westland! And now we're both here, and..."  
He took at closer look at me.  
"Why so melancholy, Bunkie?"  
"Well-"  
A loud "HONK" cut me off.  
"Shorty! Get your butt on this truck, and let's get moving!"  
I froze up. Scott turned to face the garbage man.  
"Just give us a moment!"  
"Shorty!"  
"Please, sir! This is of the utmost importance!"  
He gazed at the man with dewy, sad, puppy-dog eyes. The garbage collector looked at me, then back at Scott, his face softening.  
"You've got fifteen minutes. Once I've been around the block and wind up back here, you'd better be ready to get on this truck."  
"Yes, sir!"  
As the truck sped away, Scott turned to me once more.  
"So, care to tell your old friend your troubles?"  
But I couldn't speak. I had forgotten that my dog was human now.  
He had formed his own life. Without me.  
I turned my back and began to shuffle away.  
"Bunkie? Where are you going?"  
I didn't trust myself to talk without crying, so I just kept walking.  
"Wait! Leonard!"  
With every word he spoke, my legs felt heavier, but I had to keep going. We had to move on.  
"Leonard!"  
The pain in his voice finally broke my resolve; I looked back, and saw that his dog eyes had teared up. My feet stopped moving.  
"I'm sorry! I know now that I was being an imbecile! There's no way I could have been your step-father-I can barely take care of myself! Without any identification or birth records or a complete education, I can't get a decent job, and I'm living in a tenement, and I can't go to school anymore, and...I'm so sorry!"  
"Oh, Scott!"  
My own eyes were wet as I made a U-turn.  
"I'm sorry, too. I kept trying to control you."  
I slipped my hand into my pocket, and reached up to Scott's neck. He blinked in surprise, then felt at the familiar shape hanging at his throat.  
"My collar..."  
"It doesn't matter what species you are. You'll always be my best friend."  
Scott's smile was like a rainbow after a storm. I reached around his neck again, this time for a warm hug. His 5 o'clock shadow brushing my head brought back memories of soft, bluish fur.  
For a moment, all was as it should be.  
"Leonard? Who is this?"  
My eyes flicked open, and I drew back from Scott.  
"Uh..."  
"Uh..."  
Grandma Rose stood imposingly, her hands on her hips.  
"I'm, um..."  
"Scott Manly-Manning! Mom and I met him at, er..."  
"NEATO! I was also a finalist for the teacher of the year award, and-"  
"And he's going to start teaching here in East Westland this fall!"  
"Yeah!"  
We each gave her our most innocent smiles.  
"A teacher, you say?"  
She eyed Scott's garbage collector uniform and frowned.  
He followed her gaze.  
"Um, I'm doing a unit on trash, recycling, and the effect they have on our environment!"  
"He has a hand-on approach, Grandma!"  
She wrinkled her nose.  
"Hmm...I noticed. What grade do you teach?"  
"Third!"  
"Fifth!"  
Scott and I looked at each other.  
"Er...fourth?"  
"Works for me."  
Scott turned to Grandma Rose.  
"Fourth grade!"  
Her fierce expression dissolved.  
"Oh, just like my daughter, Mary Lou! How nice!"  
She held out her hand to Scott.  
"I'm Rose Darling."  
"A pleasure!"  
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.  
"I remember Mary Lou! Wonderful lady-and a darn good teacher!"  
Grandma Rose beamed.  
"Well, isn't that hunky-dory? Say, Mary Lou is in this hospital now-poor dear's having a tough time of it. I'm sure she would appreciate some company, if you'd like to come visit for a moment!"  
"I'd love to!"  
As we followed Grandma Rose back into the hospital, I grabbed Scott by the arm.  
"Are you crazy? Last time you talked to Mom, you nearly became my step-father!"  
"Smooth your fur, Lenny! I'll let her down easy-tell her we should just be friends. Of course, it may take considerable effort..."  
He smoothed his wavy hair.  
"...but I'm sure I can tone down my natural charm for a few minutes."  
I rolled my eyes.  
"Oh, just get this over with-without getting engaged!"  
He turned and strode into my mother's room.  
"As the brilliant Brits of the 1890s so eloquently put it: 'right-o, old chap...'"  
Upon facing my battered mother, his voice trailed off.  
"Oh, my."  
Mom turned her head.  
"Why Scott! What a super-whooper-de-dooper surprise!"  
"Mrs.-er, Mary Lou. Gee, I was sorry hear about the accident."  
"Well, thank you for coming to visit." She paused.  
"Listen, Scott, I want to apologize for my...well, my behavior last time we met. It must of been that Florida sun talking! I'm not ready for a relationship right now...but I hope we can still be good pals!"  
"Oh. Oh! Of course, that's-that's fine! Great, in fact!"  
I elbowed his ribs and hissed in his ear: "Hey, no need to be that happy about it!"  
He batted my arm.  
"I hate to see a good teacher down. Anything I could do to help you out, Mary Lou?"  
"I don't-well..."  
"Name it, pal!"  
Scott flashed her a friendly grin.  
"Do you happen to know anyone who would be willing to take custody of Leonard?"  
"Custody?"  
Her bright blue eyes teared up; Grandma Rose rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. Scott turned to me, bewildered.  
"Someone else is going to have to take care of me until Mom's out of the hospital."  
"Oh...I offer my sympathy."  
Mom nodded weakly.  
"Thanks." I groaned. "Mom, I know that I don't have a choice in this, but just sending me off to live with some random grown-up-"  
I whipped around to face Scott.  
"Say, you're an adult!"  
"Uh, I guess. What does that..." His eyes widened. "Leonard, please tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking, because if you are, I think that you should stop thinking it!"  
"But why not?"  
"I don't-"  
Shooting a glance at Mom, he turned away from the hospital bed and lowered his voice.  
"My salary is meager, my home is a dump, and according to the government, I don't exist. There's no way I could claim custody of you!"  
"What about Ian?"  
"What about him?"  
"If he could hack the toilets at Buckingham Palace, I bet he could get you a fake identity! Then you could get a better job!"  
"You're crazy! I thought you didn't want me as your guardian, anyway!"  
"You can't be my father...but that doesn't me I don't want to stay with you. Don't you want to be with me, too?"  
Scott blinked.  
"Of course! I love you, Lenny, but..."  
"Please, Scott! I don't want to be alone!"  
He looked into my pleading, puppy-esque eyes before turning back to Mom.  
"What do you think, Mary Lou? Would you be all right with me taking care of Leonard?"  
She raised her head from the pillows, eyes wide and wet.  
"You...you would do that? For us?"  
Scott patted her hand.  
"It would be an honor-and a pleasure."  
A tear rolled down her cheek, but a smile crossed her face.  
"Then you have my blessing."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Passages written in italics indicate a different POV.**

Chapter 3:  
_I waited outside Fala D. Elementary School on pins and needles. It had been a month since I'd heard about NEATO's destruction and the injuries it had caused. Another month had passed thanks to nervous hesitation and legal trouble, but I was finally ready. _  
_I was going to reclaim my boy. _  
_A "RIIIING" from the school bell brought me out of my thoughts, and I began earnestly searching the faces of the children streaming from the school. One stood out from the rest...a boy with pale skin, a round face, and gingery hair. Leonard. _  
_My son. _  
_I watched Leonard glance around the school parking lot. Suddenly, the boy's gaze settled in my direction. His eyes lit up, and he broke into a run. _  
_My heart leapt. Everything was happening just as I had fantasized. Soon, my child would be in my arms. _  
_I took a step forward, ready to scoop up the boy..._  
_But Leonard dashed right past me. _  
_"Scott!" _  
_"Hey Lenny!"_  
_Leonard ran to a young man with dark hair. The two shared a warm hug, then walked off with their arms around each other. _  
_I couldn't move; I was fuming. _  
_How dare someone else hug MY boy?_  
_How dare that interloper replace me?_  
_How dare he?_  
_A voice broke through my cloud of anger. _  
_"Is that your child? I can certainly see the resemblance." _  
_I spun around to face a scarred man wearing a white lab coat. Seeing that he had caught my attention, he went on:_  
_"Ja, he has your strong jawline, your alabaster skin...a chip off of the old block."_  
_He gave an exaggerated sigh and nodded toward the retreating figures of Leonard and the interloper. _  
_"Such a pity, though: a promising youth like that, getting mixed up in bad company so young." _  
_My blood ran cold. _  
_"What do you mean, 'bad company,' Mr...?"_  
_The man smirked. _  
_"Doctor. Doctor Ivan Krank."_

"So, how was school, Bunkie?"  
I forced a smile to spread from ear to ear.  
"Great! Everything is great! I'm totally fine."  
"That bad, huh?"  
My mask faded, and I sighed.  
"Yeah. Whenever I pass by our old classroom, I can't help thinking of Mom. And I admit, I...I miss having you there."  
It was true; as much as I had resisted Spot's desire to attend school, I had grown to enjoy spending so much time with him. Maybe I couldn't fully understand his desire to be a human instead of a dog, but, in hindsight, his dream didn't seem so wrong. Now, I just wished we could be equals again: acting the same age, being in the same class, sometimes boys, sometimes a boy and a dog...  
A happy medium.  
A compromise.  
I couldn't help but wonder if Scott missed those days, too. Or did he like being human instead?  
Sensing my inner conflicts, Scott scooted closer to me. I leaned into his broad shoulder.  
"Thanks." I whispered.  
We walked for a few minutes in companionable silence.  
"So, how's the new job at the supermarket?"  
"Well, it's less foul and menial than collecting garbage, and the pay is a bit better, but..."  
Scott sighed. "I'll be honest, Leonard: money is going to be tight. I'm doing the best I can—working double shifts, overtime, everything!"  
"I know, and it's ok. At least you could get a better job now, thanks to Ian."  
He rolled his eyes comically.  
"Yeah, but did Ian have to make my new identity that of a Swedish clam digger—who juggles chainsaws, no less?!"  
"He didn't want you to be 'bourgeois!'"  
"I was tempted not to pay him the two newts and jar of roaches!"  
I made a face.  
"I'm glad you decided to pay him in the end. Having those around the house was gross!"  
"Well, I wouldn't want to have wasted the grueling—not to mention, repulsive—effort of gathering all those cockroaches!  
We reached Scott's apartment, and unlocked the dingy door.  
"Hey, Lenny, Spot!"  
Pretty Boy swooped over and landed on my head.  
"Would ya tell this meshuggeneh that ya can't have a plaid bedspread in a room with floral wallpaper?"  
Mr. Jolly sat in a huff, tail snobbishly curled around his paws.  
"No, tell that tasteless avian that mismatched patterns is a chic trend!"  
"Who cares if it's a trend? It's hideous! The clash in that room makes me wanna hurl!"  
Scott slapped his forehead.  
"You two are still at odds over this trivial dispute? Honestly, your pettiness astounds me."  
"Hey, we're tryin' to create a cozy home atmosphere, dog breath!"  
Pretty Boy flew back to the kitchenette and picked up a wooden spoon in his talons. "Lenny, we're having quinoa! Grab a pot, will ya?"  
"Sure thing!" I yelled back.  
Meanwhile, Mr. Jolly had leapt onto the back of a chair, and was pawing at Scott's chin.  
"Spot, I thought you said you were going to shave today. You look like a ruffian!"  
"This IS shaved!"  
He sighed dramatically. "My human body seems to grow hair at the speed of light—which is 299 792 458 meters per second, in case you were wondering."  
There came a shout from the kitchenette: "Quit gabbing and get cooking, pupchik!"  
I saw Scott shake his head. Dark curls waving, he muttered "home sweet home."  
He was right. So what if my dog was a man, and my remaining family was living in a ratty, cramped apartment?  
We had each other.

**A/N: "Ja" is German for "yes."**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Just reminding everyone that sections from Mr. Helperman's POV are italicized.**

Chapter 4:  
_Early in the morning, Dr. Krank and I crouched in an alley by the door of a dingy tenement building, breathing hard. I jumped every time the door opened, but HE still hadn't come out. _  
_The doctor hadn't been able to say a lot about the interloper; he claimed that revealing too much might compromise the identities of the parties involved, and that the mission had to stay secret. Still, from the debriefing in the basement of his brother's house, I had managed to gather that this "Scott" character was a notorious criminal. Apparently, Krank had been tracking the man for awhile, and the only thing keeping the doctor from bringing him in was that he might hurt my son. The thought of little Leonard, completely brainwashed by that evildoer...it was too terrifying to linger on. _  
_Leonard. I could hardly believe that I stayed away from him for five years. I hadn't felt ready to care for a child before. The older he had gotten, the more sure I was that I had prematurely rushed into becoming a father, and was in over my head. But now, I was ready, and I would make up being absent for so long. _  
_Starting by rescuing my boy from the clutches of this criminal._  
_Finally, the interloper strode out the door, dark curls bobbing as he walked. _  
_A hiss came from behind me. _  
_"Now! Schnell!"_  
_With one swift move, I whipped out a chloroform-soaked handkerchief, grabbed the man who had stolen my son, and held it over his nose and mouth. _  
_His large, wet eyes widened for a moment, then closed. _  
_"Give him to me." _  
_With a grunt, I passed the unconscious form of the interloper to Dr. Krank. _  
_"Good, good! Now..."_  
_He handed me an envelope. _  
_"Go tape this on his apartment door." _  
_I met up with Dr. Krank moments later; he gestured for me to chuck the limp body over my shoulder, and we ran to his car, throwing the criminal in the trunk. _  
_Dr. Krank climbed into the driver's seat and shut the door with a "SLAM!"_  
_"Thank you, Byron Helperman. You don't know what a great service you've done me." _  
_The doctor's smile became a leer. _  
_"You don't know at all." He muttered. _  
_And he sped away._

I trudged out of the school that evening with a sigh. It had been another rotten day; no one talked to me besides Ian, and all he wanted to do was babble about what brands of paste taste the best.  
As usual, I looked for Scott, but I couldn't see his gentle face among those of the adults standing around outside.  
After a good half hour of waiting, it was time to give up.  
I tried not to be offended; this was Scott, after all! He wouldn't miss one of our walks without a good reason. Maybe he had had to stay late at the supermarket or something.  
I shuddered involuntarily as my overactive imagination took over. What if he had gotten in an accident? What if they took him to the hospital, and somehow discovered that he used to be a dog? What if he died?!  
Suddenly, my mother's encouraging voice echoed in my head:  
"Now, now, Mr. Worrypants!" No stress, no mess; just be your best!"  
With this sentiment in my mind, I took a deep breath, and began a lonely walk home.  
As I finally reached the apartment building, I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Panicking, I dashed up all four flights of stairs and down the hallway, before coming to a dead stop in front of our apartment.  
Taped to the door was a white envelope. Written on it in ornate, cursive script was my name.  
With trembling hands, I pulled the envelope off of the door and tore it open.

Dear Leonard,

Taking care of you has become too much of a burden. I am financially distressed, and trying to feed both of us is an overwhelming task. Trying to care for you emotionally is even more of a challenge-and not one that is worth my time and effort. Because minding you is having a negative affect on me, I am relinquishing my guardianship of you and leaving East Westland. You will have to find a new caretaker.

Scott Manly-Manning

I reread the letter twice.  
_Burden. _  
This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't.  
_Not worth time and effort. _  
How could my best friend say that about me?  
With a trembling hand, I opened the apartment door. Immediately, Pretty Boy and Mr. Jolly swooped and slinked over.  
"Leonard! What kept you so long? We were getting worried!"  
"Where's Spot?"  
My lower lip trembled. I silently threw the letter at their feet.  
After skimming the message, my other pets looked up, wide-eyed.  
"He...he abandoned you? Us?"  
I plopped down on the ground and put my head in my hands.  
Mr. Jolly curled up on my lap.  
"Oh, Leonard. I'm so sorry."  
Pretty Boy flew about the room like a maniac.  
"If I ever see that dirty mutt again, I'll peck his eyes out!"  
I couldn't even move. I had just regained Scott's friendship, and now he had left me alone.  
Like Mom, who was lying immobile in the hospital.  
Like Grandma, who couldn't—wouldn't—take care of me.  
Like Dad, who walked out on us and never looked back.  
_A negative affect on me..._  
Mr. Jolly gently rubbed his fluffy orange fur against the underside of my chin. He whispered, "I just can't believe Spot would say something like that."  
_A negative affect..._  
_Affect!_  
My eyes flicked open.  
"Maybe he didn't..."  
Pretty Boy halted in midair.  
"Whaddaya mean?"  
"Look at this sentence: 'Minding you is having a negative affect on me!'"  
The words were practically jumping off of the page and hitting me in the face.  
"It's the wrong word! He should have used 'effect,' not 'affect!'"  
Mr. Jolly glanced up at me.  
"What's your point?"  
"Scott's a straight-A student! There's no way he'd make a grammar error like this!"  
Pretty Boy shook his head as he flew up to his cage.  
"Kid, I know you're desperate, but you can't pin your hopes on a stupid grammar mistake—hey!"  
He snatched a brand new scrap of newspaper from the bottom of the birdcage and flew it over to me.  
On the shred of paper was a photo of Scott, and the headline "DOGMAN: SCIENTIST CLAIMS TO HAVE MADE A CANINE INTO A HUMAN!"  
Mr. Jolly gasped.  
"That wacko scientist you talked about has Spot?"  
My glimmer of hope turned to fear.  
"Dr. Krank must have made this note to make it seem like he left by choice!"  
The cat began running in frantic circles.  
"Oh dear! What do we do?"  
Pretty Boy flew down and pecked Jolly on the head.  
"You meshuggeneh! We've got to get our pup!"  
I nodded. The thought of losing Scott...I shivered.  
I wouldn't let him go. Not again.

**A/N: "Schnell" is German for "hurry."**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: As per usual, Mr. Helperman's POV is in italics.**

Chapter 5:  
_My legs trembled as I got dressed. Soon after Dr. Krank left, I had run back to my hotel to recover. Hours later, I still couldn't believe what I had done: kidnapping a man—no, a criminal! He was threatening Leonard! He was dangerous! I had been a hero for helping Krank take him away!_  
_I took a shaky breath as my feet carried me outside. Despite everything I said to justify the act, my gut wouldn't stop wrenching. _  
_I headed to a nearby café. Maybe I was just nervous about my upcoming reunion with Leonard. A paper and a cup of coffee would calm my nerves. Slapping a few bucks on the counter, I took a sip of the bitter, burning coffee while skimming the latest headlines. _  
_DOGMAN: SCIENTIST CLAIMS TO HAVE MADE A CANINE INTO A HUMAN!_  
_Underneath was the interloper's face, eyes closed, still blissfully unconscious. _  
_My drink dropped to the floor._

_I ripped open the door, flew down the stairs and rushed into Krank's makeshift basement laboratory, but the doctor was nowhere in sight. However, a huge metal cage stood in the corner._  
_Shivering, I curled my hands around the thick, cold bars and peered inside. _  
_On the cage floor was the crumpled figure of the interloper. As I watched, he began to stir, and sat up with a moan. I saw the man glance around, his eyes widening from fear. He stumbled upright, and rushed forward toward the crate's door. _  
_Suddenly, his feet flew out from under him, and he landed on the floor with a sickening "THUD," clutching his neck; the twisted feeling in my stomach increased. _  
_Encircling the man's throat was a heavy choke chain. _  
_He raised his head, dark eyes unfocused, still breathing hard. Gazing at me, he muttered "Dr. Krank...?"_  
_Despite his breathlessness, his reedy voice lowered to a growl. _  
_"Where's Leonard? Don't...don't you dare hurt him." _  
_My fingers, still curled around the bars, went numb. I had been wrong, so wrong. I had let my jealousy and anger blind me, and an innocent man had paid the price. _  
_Suddenly, the door to the basement-lab was flung open. _  
_Dr. Krank strolled in, holding a kicking and screaming Leonard. In his other hand was a crate, stuffed with a chubby orange cat and a green canary. _  
_"Let me go!" _  
_"No, you're the one who needs to let go, boy." _  
_I quickly backed into a dark corner, holding my breath as Krank continued. _  
_"Let go of your dog. He's a man now. What's more..."_  
_The doctor's lip curled unpleasantly. _  
_"He's mine. And now, you are, too." _  
_I felt my blood run cold as Dr. Krank took Leonard and strapped him to a lab table underneath a looming laser. Next to me in the cage, Krank's dogman looked horrified._  
_The doctor continued monologuing: "I'll admit that you two were clever. Making the dogman your guardian and establishing his identity certainly made taking him back quite an ordeal—his disappearance would have become noticeable unless a proper explanation was left—but of course, I won in the end. And the situation produced an unexpected bonus: you." _  
_He flipped a switch, causing the machine next to me to start humming. Krank laughed eerily. _  
_"You see, Leonard, I've been thinking: now that the Neuro-Exchange Animal Transformation Operation works, why should I content myself with just my precious little man? I can change anyone and anything I want!"_  
_As he cackled in Leonard's face, the boy somehow became even paler. _  
_"And it seems only fitting to make you a dog. It evens things out quite nicely, don't you think?"_  
_The boy's blue eyes were filled with fright. _  
_I saw red. _  
_"No!"_  
_Before I knew what I was doing, I had leapt out of my hiding place and tackled Krank. His scream was surprisingly high-pitched. _  
_After a good minute of wrestling on the floor, we rolled straight into his computer panel. I heard a series of "CLUNKS!" The cage over the dogman had lifted, and the end of his chain was dragging loose on the ground. _  
_Immediately, he was beside me, growling and barking. In one swift movement, the dogman tore the opened choke collar from his own neck and fastened it around Krank's, reactivating the magnetic lock. I took up the other end of the chain and attached it to a hook in the wall. The doctor struggled and screamed, but the chain held fast. _  
_"Nein! Let me go!"_  
_The dogman grinned. _  
_"Sorry, doc...bad dogs belong on a leash."_  
_His smile slipped with the sound of crackling electricity. We both whipped around to see the laser bucking on its stand. Leonard's eyes widened as the mechanism, still aimed at him, began to crack. I suddenly realized that, by hitting the computer panel, I had unintentionally overloaded Krank's experiment. The delicate machine was ready to blow!_  
_The boy's terrified blue eyes turned to me and the dogman. _  
_"Leonard!" _  
_"Bunkie!"_  
_I rushed to the lab table, and tore at the straps binding my son, but to no avail. He was stuck fast. _  
_"No!" _  
_The dogman planted in front of the lab table, as steadfast and immobile as a guardian statue. _  
_There was a blinding flash of light, and a loud "BOOM" as the laser exploded. Krank gave an angry yell; NEATO was no more, and his man was gone, replaced by a small, chubby blue dog. _  
_Once I finally got Leonard free, the newly formed canine jumped on the table and licked his face with a long, wet, pink tongue. My son giggled. _  
_"Are you well, Bunkie?" _  
_I was surprised to hear that the dog retained the man's high-pitched but masculine voice. _  
_"I'm fine, but...are you, Spot? Are you ok with just being a dog again?" _  
_Spot brushed his head against Leonard's pale cheek. _  
_"It's like you said: it doesn't matter what species I am, so long as I'm with you." _  
_A smile spread across Leonard's face, and he held his dog close. _  
_I stood back, unwilling to interrupt this tender scene. Then Leonard's blue eyes found mine. He slowly released his pet, and hesitantly turned to me; Spot gently nudged him forward. _  
_For a moment, we just stared at one another. Then he threw his arms around me. _  
_"Thanks, Dad." _  
_A warm feeling bubbled up from the tips of my toes to the top of my head as I finally wrapped my arms around my boy. _  
_Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Spot releasing the other pets from the crate in which Krank had stuffed them. The whole trio had teary eyes, but wore bright smiles. _  
_"All's well that ends well." The former human whispered. _  
_I couldn't have agreed more._


	6. Chapter 6

Epilogue:  
The cold nipped at our noses as Scott and I strolled home from school on a chilly December day. These past two months had been rocky, what with trying to explain Scott's sudden disappearance from East Westland, and then his unexpected return to Fala D. Elementary School. However, our slapdash cover story involving a summer trip to the Pitcairn Islands, an exotic illness called "Ridiculitis," and the resulting quarantine hadn't seemed to rouse any suspicion so far. In fact, things had been looking up for my family.  
A blast of warm air hit our faces as I pulled open the front door of my house. I pulled off my coat and hat, and hung them near the noisy old heater to dry.  
"Hey, boys!"  
"Hi, Dad!"  
"Hi, Mr. H!"  
There, at the kitchen table, sat Mom and Dad drinking hot chocolate; with the exception of the thick, red and green casts on Mom's legs, the scene was identical to the winter evenings they used to share so many years ago.  
Things weren't exactly the same with my parents of course. Mom had been completely shocked two months ago when her ex-husband showed up at the hospital. However, she and Dad had since formed a steady friendship. He had been visiting nearly every week, helping Mom around the house and sharing memories with us. It was nice to see her so content—I had been a bit worried about her reaction to seeing Dad again.  
Though considering that Mom had kept the name of Helperman all these years, I guess there was never any reason to doubt that their reunion would be a happy one.  
Mom stood gingerly to give me and Scott a warm hug.  
She sweetly whispered, "I'm so lucky to have the two most fantaburiffic little boys in the world."  
Next to me, I heard Scott's contented sigh; we both snuggled closer to her.  
I felt lucky, too—lucky that my mother hadn't freaked out upon discovering that there had another little "boy" in our house all this time. In fact, she had welcomed her favorite student into our family with open arms!  
The whole tale had come out in our explanation of why Dad was back. Mom was, understandably, stunned at first. However, once Scott spun the story—with the help of myself, Pretty Boy, and Mr. Jolly—of how he had become discontented with just being the pet of the teacher, and how he decided to instead be the teacher's pet, she was delighted! I suppose that, as a teacher, Mom was enthusiastic about Scott's hunger for knowledge, and as a mother, she was loving and supportive of his dream.  
I glanced around the house.  
Mom was helping Scott unzip his coat.  
Dad was pouring Mom another steaming mug of hot chocolate.  
Pretty Boy was gloating over an old newspaper strip in his cage with the headline "WACKO SCIENTIST LIES ABOUT HUMAN-ANIMAL TRANSFORMATION MACHINE, IS ARRESTED FOR KIDNAPPING!"  
Mr. Jolly was, as usual, napping in a sunny windowsill.  
And toothy grin stretched across my face; my family and my heart were finally whole.

**A/N: Obviously, RIDICUL-itis is a made-up malady, but the Pitcairn Islands are real islands in the Pacific! They currently have a population of around 50 people.**  
**Also, "nein" is German for "no." **  
**Anyway...**  
**Considering my usual pace for writing fics, this one went really quickly! I guess you could say I was...**  
**( 0_0 )**  
**( 0_0)****-~****•****-****•  
****(~****•****_****•****)  
****...KRANK-ing it out!  
****YEAAAAAAAAAAH!**


End file.
